Why the Hell aren't I notified about these things!?

I want you to imagine that you walk out of your home one day, and suddenly notice that there is a grand stage set up across the street. Upon that stage, Jesus Christ and a small contingent of samurai warriors are doing battle with a horde of velociraptors. Holy shit, you ironically think to yourself, since when did something so awesome start happening right at my doorstep. However, as you watch the scene unfold, you realize that this and similar bouts of awesome have been taking place on a daily basis right in this very spot, and you've somehow managed to go all this time without noticing it.

This is how Brutal Legend made me feel about metal. Now I've never been an avid fan of any particular genre of music, and I still probably never will be, but somehow I've gone all this time without noticing how awesome some of these bands are. They've been around, I've heard their stuff on the radio and at parties, and Theo has probably ruptured my eardrums with some of it on more than one occasion, but somehow I just never noticed that I like this stuff.

Then again, when you're riding a magical, fire-breathing muscle car through a barren wasteland populated by things like Laser Panthers and Raptor Elks, it's a lot easier to listen to. The artwork in this game really does set it apart. It would be most easily described by saying that it looks like a Megadeth album cover. It would be more accurate to say that it looks like somebody gave Tim Schaeffer a bunch of acid, locked him in a room with nothing but a giant sound system and a bunch of Slayer, Omen, and Judas Priest albums, and then told him he had to make a video game before he was allowed to go to bed.

The game world isn't just filled with references to the various forms of metal, it is inspired almost entirely by it. Trees have exhaust pipes instead of branches. Mountains have been hewn into the shape of rock fingers and bass guitars. A giant, ancient highway runs throughout the land. It is filled with some of the most awesome animals ever conceived, like the Guillosaur (a combination of a dinosaur and a guillotine) and most of these beasts are ridable.

As if all this wasn't enough, Tim Schaeffer's writing shines just as brightly as it always has, all the more so for Jack Black's delivery in the game's starring role. The supporting cast includes all-star Jennifer Hale (Samus Aran of Metroid) as the love interest, Ozzy Osbourne as the Gaurdian of Metal, and Tim Curry as what can best be described as a slightly more loveable version of Sauron. A host of other faces from the music industry with varying levels of notoriety also make appearances in major and minor roles, as well. The game is always willing to poke fun at itself and its inspiration, but it still takes itself just seriously enough for the plot to be engaging.

Behind this absolutely fabulous facade of pure awesome, the gameplay itself is a mixed bag. It contains elements of a Starcraft-ish RTS, God of War-style hack n'slash, Halo-like vehicle romps, and Dynasty Warriors-ish war scenery. The game doesn't succeed spectacularly at all these things, but it does blend them together into something that can genuinely be described as original. In certain aspects, particularly when driving your car near rough terrain, the controls fall into the realm of mediocrity, but for the most they are intuitive and extremely simplistic.

The upshot of all this is that if the heavily stylistic presentation fails to appeal to you in any way, you're going to find this to be a mediocre title. If you are a fan of metal, or at least receptive to it, you're going to love the game's style too much to be bothered by a few shortcomings in its substance.

Coming up next: Mr. Smith gets a job!!