I was her MAN of Honor, Thank You

Recently Theo showed us all some love with a post dedicated to all of his friends. That, and some minor prodding, have motivated me to do likewise.

I'm going to divide mine up among three posts, however, dedicated to my three nearest and dearest friends. Kurt, Evan, Adam, Webb, and company have all been good friends, and I have had many very good times with them. Please do not take this as a slight in any way, but these were the three who have been there my entire adult life. They have been by my side, in one form or another, during my weakest moments. They have shared the best of times with me. I hold for myself no secrets to which this fellowship is not privy.

So here goes:

Walter, for the life of me, I cannot remember being introduced to you. To me, it feels like you were just always there. You were always inspiring me to get off my ass and experience things, usually things that I would otherwise have missed. You cared enough to get pissed at me when I wouldn't tag along just because I felt lazy, and that made my college experience considerably more memorable.

You have a strange knack for always having something appropriate (or delightfully inappropriate) to say for any situation. You have a sense of humor that could lighten the darkest moods, and make the good times even better. Best of all, even in your own darkest hours, you never stop using that humor to brighten everyone else's day.

You've always been one of the most selfless people I've ever known. I remember watching you teach Tae Kwon Do to the youngsters, and seeing a certain compassion that not many possess. You've always been willing to give what you could spare, and in many cases you've been more generous than that. I have no doubt that your kindness and passion will serve you well in your medical career.

I have a lot of memories of you that rank among my fondest. Those occasions on which I accompanied you to Jefferson City, the long nights spent jigging off key to Flogging Molly, all the crazy shit we did in Columbia, and the late nights cramming in the study of the SAE house.

And of course, most of the above memories also included you, Theo. I remember distinctly how we met, and I remember that after losing that bet, you could have easily told me to go to hell when I threw my laundry at you, but you honored the bet, and I am damn grateful that you did. You were the first friend I made after leaving Overland Park, and you remain the best and most steadfast.

I remember how we used to hang out in my room, playing Devil May Cry; or in yours, driving your roommate insane. I remember mounting the side of Rosie as we drove down the street. I recall with vivid horror that one time you convinced me to try and drive that behemoth.

As wonderful as it was to get away from my old haunts, those first few weeks of college were terrifying, and you were the first sign I was given that things were going to be OK. You always had just a little more stones than I did when it came to our nightly jump challenges, but you still managed to push me to my limit, which always made those outings far more worthwhile.

My life has been a far greater adventure with you in it, and I fully expect that this will continue the case.

Also, at this moment, I'm listening to Dethklok, which is an entire genre of music that I never would have been able to enjoy had I not known you.

Finally, there's one more person who it would be utterly criminal not to place on this list. She's not exactly a member of the Holy Trinity described above, but I'm also not willing to divide this list up amongst different posts, lest one or the other feel somehow slighted. So I'll just break this one up.
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To get some extra spending money, I worked an on-campus job at Westminster. I ended up working in the Mac Lab, because it was literally a do-nothing job where I could laze around or get some homework done. Most days, I only saw a couple of people, if any.

On one of those days, fairly early on in the semester, a girl came in sat down in front of a computer, and began talking to it in a language I didn't recognize. She was apparently practicing for a foreign language class (a requirement for graduation at Westminster) but I didn't know this, so I just saw some crazy chick talking gobbledygook at a computer. She suddenly saw the strange look I was giving her, and quickly stood up and tried to explain herself. She neglected to remove her headphones, however, and ended up catching the right speaker in her eye. It was very funny.

I was quite shy in those days, but after seeing somebody embarrass themselves like that, I was able to summon up the courage to say hi (major accomplishment for me at the time) and actually start a conversation. Unfortunately, I had yet to come out of my shell and so my attempts at communication quickly drifted to a video game reference, (see, it was actually kind of funny if you understood the context, because the locks in the lab had this really weird and contrived way of... oh nevermind) but somehow this did not chase her off. We talked for a bit, exchanged contact information, and quickly became friends.

It was that magical time of life where everybody's still trying to figure out who or what they are, and so anything can be tried once and almost always is forgiven. During those years, she was at different times a mentor, a companion, and on occasion, a lover. Somewhere along the line, the line between those three things grew hazy, and our relationship evolved into something best described as a very dear friend. We have shared in victory and in defeat. At certain times we have been sources of strength and compassion for one another, and at others we have been the bane of each others' existence. Through it all, however, she has remained the dearest of friends. She calls me on my bullshit, she listens to my problems, and she sees me in ways that I often can't even see myself. Her council and companionship are dear to me, even when they lead me astray.

I don't think it's ever been a secret that I am very much in love with Andrea Wimberly. It's not about physical intimacy (frankly, we never did work as a couple) so much as the fact that she just gets me. She can call me on my bullshit, and I can call her on hers. We can't really lie to each other (although each of us lets the other think they can on occasion) even about matters on which we lie to ourselves. She has a perspective and insight that has been indispensable to me on many occasions. I can almost always trust her, and I know her well enough to know when and why I can't.

And what's more, this chick is a badass. A drunken frat boy once locked her in a room with him, and tried to have his way with her; she ripped his arm out of its socket. I am not making this up. Our old boss at Little Caesar's regularly shorted her on the gas money she was promised for her deliveries. That man lost his franchise. Again, not making this up. I won't even go into the shenanigans that her very psychotic roommate tried to pull, but it involved me both Andrea and myself being accused of some very ridiculous (and utterly false) things in a court of law. We only had to give up an afternoon explaining the situation, and she got stuck with the court costs. Since then we've both more or less forgotten she ever existed (I actually had to think for a minute to remember her name) but she is apparently still ranting and blogging about how much she hates us. Dre just has a way of dealing with things, and I mean that in a Godfather kind of way. It makes her very useful to have around, but don't ever, ever get on her bad side, or fuck with any of her friends. Seriously.

And most importantly, when the chips are down, I trust this broad. They say a good friend will kill for you, but- and I say this in all seriousness- I would call Andrea if by some inconceivable circumstance I had killed somebody, and needed to dispose of the body. She would not ask questions and she would not bat an eye, she would just help.

About a year ago, I was asked to be at her side during the wedding. A few months later, that crappy Made of Honor movie came out, and I'm still waiting for my royalty check. After the wedding, she would be off to Turkey with Carl, and I still remember her coworkers begging me to talk her out of it, because they weren't sure the office would be able to function without her. If any of them are (for some reason I can't fathom) reading this, please know that I tried my absolute best.

I still talk to her regularly, and we see each other from time to time, but we'll probably never live in the same city again, and more's the pity. But we had some real good times, and I'm sure that we've got an adventure or two left in us.

So this wraps up my three major credits. I think that Evan and Kurt and several others are still worthy of mention, but these three are my Musketeers. These are the friends for whom I would gladly take a bullet. I would give a kidney to any one of these three. Dre, Walt, Theo: I love you guys.