So. Last night. Yeeeeeeaaahhhh….
You know what? Screw that. I had a good time. Yes I drank too much, yes I embarrassed myself, but I had a damned good time and it was worth it. And I remember most of it.
I remember having a debate with Evan about housing tax, and I remember carrying it on up to the point where I realized there was a genuinely interesting conversation to be had, but I'd have to sober up before I could make any points or understand his. From there, I wandered inside and proceeded to *attempt* to tell a story about my worst sunburn ever, in an ill-conceived moment of machismo, because my sunburn was totally worse than that other guy's and he shouldn't be complaining. Because man, lemme tell ya man, because seriously, this was, dude, seriously, this was a crazy story. Let me tell you.
My last memory of the evening was noticing that everybody was staring at me while I talked, and thinking that it meant I was either telling my story really really well, or really really poorly. I had no innate sense of which it was, but judging solely from the amount of alcohol I'd consumed that evening, I had an inkling. I can only assume this train of thought was what convinced me to allow Andrea to lead me away from all the sane people and put me to bed, an event which I definitely do not remember happening.
If nights like this occurred (or ever start to occur) with any degree of regularity, I would (will) begin to seriously reassess my method of having a good time. But seeing as this was my only blackout in the past half decade I choose to forgive myself, so long as it doesn't happen again.
I've got a few more new posts coming. I've leveled up again, this time to a new character class (I'm a tax admin now) and I have a new home, which is awesome.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Lollipop Pugilism
With nothing better to do on Sunday afternoon, I moseyed on down to my local theater and took in a showing of Sucker Punch. It was alright.
The closest thing I can compare it to would probably be Inception, in the sense that almost the entire movie takes place outside of its own reality. The story concerns a twenty-year old girl who, after standing up to her abusive father in defense of her younger sister, finds herself committed to an absolute cesspool of a psychiatric facility. Courtesy of a bribe from her father to an unscrupulous orderly, she is scheduled for a lobotomy in five days' time. It is at this point that the movie departs utterly from this plot, and our hero, henceforth referred to by her stage name of Baby Doll, finds herself as the latest acquisition of an upscale whorehouse, awaiting the arrival of the dreaded “high roller” who has reportedly purchased her virginity. Unable to cope with this reality (which in fact is not her reality but a grand delusion her mind created because it couldn’t cope with her real reality) Baby Doll frequently escapes into vivid fantasies where she fights for her life through her own subconscious, battling demons of varying size and style. Whether these are metaphors for things she is actually doing or mere escapist fantasies is not immediately clear, but the movie challenges its viewers to question just how much that distinction really matters. In the end, one might suppose it would matter a lot, what with the impending lobotomy and all, but by the time you ask that question there are samurais on screen, so it’s not worth thinking too hard about.
And that last line really sums up a large portion of the movie’s appeal. The plot ends up being half-way decent in its own right, but its primary purpose is to serve as a vehicle for a series of increasingly fantastical scenes with Baby Doll and her fellow inmates. It is at these points where the movie really shines. The artwork is really quite good, and it is rendered beautifully. The scenes are also nicely choreographed. They aren’t really happening- not even for pretend- but these scenes are the movie: which is to say, an entertaining series of escapist flights of fancy.
So if you want an Inception-degree brain-bender a fantasy twist, you’re likely to be disappointed. If you want to see a little girl kung fu fight a 12-foot stone samurai, go see it in IMAX.
The closest thing I can compare it to would probably be Inception, in the sense that almost the entire movie takes place outside of its own reality. The story concerns a twenty-year old girl who, after standing up to her abusive father in defense of her younger sister, finds herself committed to an absolute cesspool of a psychiatric facility. Courtesy of a bribe from her father to an unscrupulous orderly, she is scheduled for a lobotomy in five days' time. It is at this point that the movie departs utterly from this plot, and our hero, henceforth referred to by her stage name of Baby Doll, finds herself as the latest acquisition of an upscale whorehouse, awaiting the arrival of the dreaded “high roller” who has reportedly purchased her virginity. Unable to cope with this reality (which in fact is not her reality but a grand delusion her mind created because it couldn’t cope with her real reality) Baby Doll frequently escapes into vivid fantasies where she fights for her life through her own subconscious, battling demons of varying size and style. Whether these are metaphors for things she is actually doing or mere escapist fantasies is not immediately clear, but the movie challenges its viewers to question just how much that distinction really matters. In the end, one might suppose it would matter a lot, what with the impending lobotomy and all, but by the time you ask that question there are samurais on screen, so it’s not worth thinking too hard about.
And that last line really sums up a large portion of the movie’s appeal. The plot ends up being half-way decent in its own right, but its primary purpose is to serve as a vehicle for a series of increasingly fantastical scenes with Baby Doll and her fellow inmates. It is at these points where the movie really shines. The artwork is really quite good, and it is rendered beautifully. The scenes are also nicely choreographed. They aren’t really happening- not even for pretend- but these scenes are the movie: which is to say, an entertaining series of escapist flights of fancy.
So if you want an Inception-degree brain-bender a fantasy twist, you’re likely to be disappointed. If you want to see a little girl kung fu fight a 12-foot stone samurai, go see it in IMAX.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Woo hoo!
For a little over a year now, I have toiled under the oppressive yoke of H&R Block. No, there was never an actual yoke. And they weren’t… actively oppressive. And they did always work with me on my hours so I could attend classes and study for finals. Well, OK, it wasn’t really all that unreasonable in the end. But I toiled, darnit!
But in all seriousness, H&R Block was a black hole in which I risked losing myself. The promotions I would have gotten, had I stayed, would have been along the lines of a manager in a call center, and ten years later I would be making enough money to get by but not as much as I could have been; I also would be absolutely miserable at my job, and wondering why I never got out while I had the chance.
So you can imagine how happy I was to hear a recruiter from State Street utter the words “we have decided to offer you a position.”
Starting March 14th, I’ll be working in the Alternative Investments Taxation department for one of the largest holding company in the world. I’m going to be fairly low on the totem pole, and the work could almost be described as glorified data entry, but it is a job in my field, and the pay is substantially better than what I’m getting now. The pay is also regular, in that I don’t have to get my hours cut at the end of the tax season, or take a mandatory 8 weeks of unpaid leave. This means that, if in a couple of months I feel things are going well and the position is going to work out, I will be in a position to lease an apartment. The threat of being that 30-year old guy who lives with his parents is waning, and the future looks bright.
But in all seriousness, H&R Block was a black hole in which I risked losing myself. The promotions I would have gotten, had I stayed, would have been along the lines of a manager in a call center, and ten years later I would be making enough money to get by but not as much as I could have been; I also would be absolutely miserable at my job, and wondering why I never got out while I had the chance.
So you can imagine how happy I was to hear a recruiter from State Street utter the words “we have decided to offer you a position.”
Starting March 14th, I’ll be working in the Alternative Investments Taxation department for one of the largest holding company in the world. I’m going to be fairly low on the totem pole, and the work could almost be described as glorified data entry, but it is a job in my field, and the pay is substantially better than what I’m getting now. The pay is also regular, in that I don’t have to get my hours cut at the end of the tax season, or take a mandatory 8 weeks of unpaid leave. This means that, if in a couple of months I feel things are going well and the position is going to work out, I will be in a position to lease an apartment. The threat of being that 30-year old guy who lives with his parents is waning, and the future looks bright.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
I have seen my first play in 2011, and it was about women in corsets having orgasms at the doctor’s office.
In upstate New York in the near the end of the 19th century, humanity was on the brink of the industrial revolution. Edison and Tesla were still competing to see who would pioneer the pending renaissance. And doctors, filled with the kind hubris that comes from being an academic in an age of rapid technological advancement, were biting off substantially more than they could chew.
During this time, as medical science had yet to find its footing and was stumbling in the dark, frequently knocking things over. One of the catch-all diagnoses of the time- one that went less noticed what with all that outrageous lobotomy business looming just a few years down the road- was Hysteria, a condition that afflicted many women of the era. The symptoms were wide-ranging, and could be anything from excitability, depression, irritability, and pretty much any other end of the emotional spectrum. A common treatment for this was to induce a “paroxysm,” a series of convulsions that would allow excess fluid to drain from the womb, and permit the body and mind to regain their crucial balance. It was achieved through vaginal massage, usually administered on a weekly basis.
If the reader were to stop at this moment and scour the internet to appraise the accuracy of the above paragraph, that reader might find that, while generous artistic liberties may have been taken, it bares an unexpected resemblance to the truth.
To wit.
In the Next Room, or “The Vibrator Play,” is a story about a doctor of this time period, and the ministrations he renders upon those in his care. His cold and clinical demeanor run in stark contrast to the intimacy with which such an experience is meant to entail. For Dr. Givings, it is merely a medical procedure like any other. For his patients, it is a bizarre, frightening, painful necessity of which they find they cannot get enough.
The production was a brilliant historical satire. As one of the cast members put it, the play is a “period piece through a contemporary lens.” As ridiculous and outlandish as the proceedings are by modern standards, the setting of the play firmly roots them in their historical setting. It serves to drive home the point that for all the absurdity of it, these were real medical procedures performed on real women (and some men) by real licensed doctors.
The play itself is a sometimes subtle (but mostly not-so subtle) commentary on gender roles and our ability to embrace our sexuality both as individuals and as a society. But more than that, it is freaking hilarious. From the facial expressions to the comical yet disturbingly makes-sense dialogue to the comedy-of-errors through which Mrs. Givings discovers and experiments with the Device while her husband is at the Club, the play had me falling out of my seat laughing pretty much open to close.
The play did set humor aside, if only briefly, to make time for some very genuine commentary about our ability to allow ourselves to remain ignorant of those things with which we are uncomfortable. Sideplots of sexual self-discovery and love triangles abound and they make good use of the time the play spends on them, but most of them are ultimately relegated to an ancillary position, in favor of the comedy that makes the play so great. The second act does focus largely on the dichotomy between Mrs. Givings, who is gradually discovering all the emotions and desires that polite society has forced her to ignore, and Dr. Givings, who is so firmly rooted in reason and logic that he is unable to exhibit the emotion his wife can finally admit she needs. The play finally concludes with a very… progressive scene that has forever changed how I look at Snow Angels.
In upstate New York in the near the end of the 19th century, humanity was on the brink of the industrial revolution. Edison and Tesla were still competing to see who would pioneer the pending renaissance. And doctors, filled with the kind hubris that comes from being an academic in an age of rapid technological advancement, were biting off substantially more than they could chew.
During this time, as medical science had yet to find its footing and was stumbling in the dark, frequently knocking things over. One of the catch-all diagnoses of the time- one that went less noticed what with all that outrageous lobotomy business looming just a few years down the road- was Hysteria, a condition that afflicted many women of the era. The symptoms were wide-ranging, and could be anything from excitability, depression, irritability, and pretty much any other end of the emotional spectrum. A common treatment for this was to induce a “paroxysm,” a series of convulsions that would allow excess fluid to drain from the womb, and permit the body and mind to regain their crucial balance. It was achieved through vaginal massage, usually administered on a weekly basis.
If the reader were to stop at this moment and scour the internet to appraise the accuracy of the above paragraph, that reader might find that, while generous artistic liberties may have been taken, it bares an unexpected resemblance to the truth.
To wit.
In the Next Room, or “The Vibrator Play,” is a story about a doctor of this time period, and the ministrations he renders upon those in his care. His cold and clinical demeanor run in stark contrast to the intimacy with which such an experience is meant to entail. For Dr. Givings, it is merely a medical procedure like any other. For his patients, it is a bizarre, frightening, painful necessity of which they find they cannot get enough.
The production was a brilliant historical satire. As one of the cast members put it, the play is a “period piece through a contemporary lens.” As ridiculous and outlandish as the proceedings are by modern standards, the setting of the play firmly roots them in their historical setting. It serves to drive home the point that for all the absurdity of it, these were real medical procedures performed on real women (and some men) by real licensed doctors.
The play itself is a sometimes subtle (but mostly not-so subtle) commentary on gender roles and our ability to embrace our sexuality both as individuals and as a society. But more than that, it is freaking hilarious. From the facial expressions to the comical yet disturbingly makes-sense dialogue to the comedy-of-errors through which Mrs. Givings discovers and experiments with the Device while her husband is at the Club, the play had me falling out of my seat laughing pretty much open to close.
The play did set humor aside, if only briefly, to make time for some very genuine commentary about our ability to allow ourselves to remain ignorant of those things with which we are uncomfortable. Sideplots of sexual self-discovery and love triangles abound and they make good use of the time the play spends on them, but most of them are ultimately relegated to an ancillary position, in favor of the comedy that makes the play so great. The second act does focus largely on the dichotomy between Mrs. Givings, who is gradually discovering all the emotions and desires that polite society has forced her to ignore, and Dr. Givings, who is so firmly rooted in reason and logic that he is unable to exhibit the emotion his wife can finally admit she needs. The play finally concludes with a very… progressive scene that has forever changed how I look at Snow Angels.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
In Retrospect...
Best movie of 2010: The classic mistake is to give the most credit to the most recent awesome thing one has seen, but I will brave that mistake by saying that True Grit, while ultimately a straightforward and forgettable movie, had some of the most engaging performances I’ve seen all year.
Worst movie of 2010: Robo-Geisha, hands down. This is a movie that can only be enjoyed alongside good liquor and better friends.
Best video game of 2010: I’m going with Amnesia: The Dark Descent. This is a game that literally made me want to stop playing because I was getting scared. Whether that makes it “good” is a matter of opinion, but either way some artistic credit is due.
Worst video game of 2010: Dante’s Inferno. This game is about a former Templar running through hell fighting physical manifestations of various sins he committed during what he believed was a righteous crusade. The developers managed to make that into a boring, mundane experience.
Best personal accomplishment of 2010: This is, happily, a difficult decision. I lost 30 lbs in the span of 4 months. I finished my Master’s degree. I passed my REG exam. I’m going to write off the degree, because most of the work for that was done in the previous year. I’m also going to write off the lost weight, because in the end I didn’t expend a lot of effort on it- turns out all I really had to do was stop horking down every edible object I laid eyes on. That leaves, once again, the most recent awesome thing of the year, which would be my passing of the REG exam
Worst personal failing of 2010: In the weeks following my return from Europe, I let myself slip into a bit of an apathetic slump. I wouldn’t call it a profound depression so much as a period during which I just wasn’t very aggressive in achieving my personal goals. If I had put the same effort into my life during July and August that I did in the last quarter of the year, it’s quite possible I’d be halfway to my CPA exam.
Best day of 2010: Bodrum. Beaches. Fruity drinks. Sun. For an entire day, I didn’t desire a single thing that wasn’t all around me.
Worst day of 2010: The day I took my REG exam. I took the exam on the last day of the year that it was being offered, and if I had missed it, I would have had to start studying all over again for the 2011 version, which would have contained an entirely different set of tax rules; naturally, things went wrong and when I got to the center they didn’t have me properly scheduled. I actually did miss my scheduled exam, but after the most frantic hour of the year I managed to suss things out with the good folks at NASBA, and they penciled me in for later during that same day. On top of the horrific nervousness that naturally accompanies an endeavor like this, I can easily say that this was the most nerve-wracking day of the year. It still didn’t stop me from passing.
Worst movie of 2010: Robo-Geisha, hands down. This is a movie that can only be enjoyed alongside good liquor and better friends.
Best video game of 2010: I’m going with Amnesia: The Dark Descent. This is a game that literally made me want to stop playing because I was getting scared. Whether that makes it “good” is a matter of opinion, but either way some artistic credit is due.
Worst video game of 2010: Dante’s Inferno. This game is about a former Templar running through hell fighting physical manifestations of various sins he committed during what he believed was a righteous crusade. The developers managed to make that into a boring, mundane experience.
Best personal accomplishment of 2010: This is, happily, a difficult decision. I lost 30 lbs in the span of 4 months. I finished my Master’s degree. I passed my REG exam. I’m going to write off the degree, because most of the work for that was done in the previous year. I’m also going to write off the lost weight, because in the end I didn’t expend a lot of effort on it- turns out all I really had to do was stop horking down every edible object I laid eyes on. That leaves, once again, the most recent awesome thing of the year, which would be my passing of the REG exam
Worst personal failing of 2010: In the weeks following my return from Europe, I let myself slip into a bit of an apathetic slump. I wouldn’t call it a profound depression so much as a period during which I just wasn’t very aggressive in achieving my personal goals. If I had put the same effort into my life during July and August that I did in the last quarter of the year, it’s quite possible I’d be halfway to my CPA exam.
Best day of 2010: Bodrum. Beaches. Fruity drinks. Sun. For an entire day, I didn’t desire a single thing that wasn’t all around me.
Worst day of 2010: The day I took my REG exam. I took the exam on the last day of the year that it was being offered, and if I had missed it, I would have had to start studying all over again for the 2011 version, which would have contained an entirely different set of tax rules; naturally, things went wrong and when I got to the center they didn’t have me properly scheduled. I actually did miss my scheduled exam, but after the most frantic hour of the year I managed to suss things out with the good folks at NASBA, and they penciled me in for later during that same day. On top of the horrific nervousness that naturally accompanies an endeavor like this, I can easily say that this was the most nerve-wracking day of the year. It still didn’t stop me from passing.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Happy Holidays
I sit among my gifts for the year, like some gluttonous dragon atop its hoard.
I am now the happy owner of a Nook color, as well as the full 2-movie set of Red Cliff, the chemistry drink set from Think Geek, a decadently soft new robe, and a wireless keyboard and mouse. This all is to say nothing of the veritable bonanza that has been generously sent to me through Steam. Dead Rising 2 and Meatboy are particularly interesting, and this "Disciples" thing seems to have some promise as well. I hope to repay such generosity in person next week.
Here's hoping that all of you spent the day making happy memories with your loved ones.
Happy Holidays,
Ben
addendum: The best gift, by far, was a little device which I will nickname "The Theo." It is a keychain with an alarm on it, that I can activate to find my keys when I lose them.
I am now the happy owner of a Nook color, as well as the full 2-movie set of Red Cliff, the chemistry drink set from Think Geek, a decadently soft new robe, and a wireless keyboard and mouse. This all is to say nothing of the veritable bonanza that has been generously sent to me through Steam. Dead Rising 2 and Meatboy are particularly interesting, and this "Disciples" thing seems to have some promise as well. I hope to repay such generosity in person next week.
Here's hoping that all of you spent the day making happy memories with your loved ones.
Happy Holidays,
Ben
addendum: The best gift, by far, was a little device which I will nickname "The Theo." It is a keychain with an alarm on it, that I can activate to find my keys when I lose them.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Happy Holidays and stuff
Oh! Hey there! Didn’t think anyone was still around. Don’t mind me, I just came to pick up some stuff- what? You want a post? I dunno, I haven’t really done that sort of thing in a while…
What do you mean don’t be like that? Oh fine, here’s your stupid post:
As those of you perusing that book of faces are already aware, the results of my first CPA exam are in substantially sooner than I had expected them to be, and they are happy results indeed. It is a solidly passing score, and I am now one step closer to my certification. With any luck, I’ll have it finished before September of next year.
I have a new job, which is in fact the same new job I had back in September; it’s more of a lateral move, really, but it means I’ll get to keep working. I’m beginning to look more seriously for new employment, but in the meantime I am maintaining a positive cash flow.
Sadly, that flow will be stemmed somewhat for the month of December, as in addition to my Christmas shopping I got slapped with a speeding ticket last night. An 18-wheeler on my right began to drift into my lane, I got a little freaked out and floored it to get myself out of his blind spot, and just so happened to be passing through an officer’s radar at the time. He didn’t buy enough of that (entirely true) story to tear up the ticket, so now I have to go to traffic court and cough up $200. The ticket was just for $80, but the city of Mission lets you pay some extra fines and have your speeding ticket marked down to a non-moving violation, and the potential hike in insurance premiums makes this the cheaper option in the long run.
Christmas is coming up fast, and I’m happy to say that my shopping is all done for this season. I’ve already begun to receive some of the oh-so-very-kind gifts from my friends in St Louis, for which I’d like to take a moment to say “thank you.” I was really curious about Super Meat Boy, and Burnout has been an “almost-bought-it” of mine for some time now. Happy Holidays to all, and I hope we all get some of our most-wanted this year.
Some more good news: I will definitely be in town for the New Year’s party. I’m still not sure about where I’m staying (hint hint wink wink nudge nudge) but if no other options present themselves, I think a hotel might be in my budget this year.
I’m looking forward to seeing everyone in St Louis again. In the meantime, enjoy the Holidays!
What do you mean don’t be like that? Oh fine, here’s your stupid post:
As those of you perusing that book of faces are already aware, the results of my first CPA exam are in substantially sooner than I had expected them to be, and they are happy results indeed. It is a solidly passing score, and I am now one step closer to my certification. With any luck, I’ll have it finished before September of next year.
I have a new job, which is in fact the same new job I had back in September; it’s more of a lateral move, really, but it means I’ll get to keep working. I’m beginning to look more seriously for new employment, but in the meantime I am maintaining a positive cash flow.
Sadly, that flow will be stemmed somewhat for the month of December, as in addition to my Christmas shopping I got slapped with a speeding ticket last night. An 18-wheeler on my right began to drift into my lane, I got a little freaked out and floored it to get myself out of his blind spot, and just so happened to be passing through an officer’s radar at the time. He didn’t buy enough of that (entirely true) story to tear up the ticket, so now I have to go to traffic court and cough up $200. The ticket was just for $80, but the city of Mission lets you pay some extra fines and have your speeding ticket marked down to a non-moving violation, and the potential hike in insurance premiums makes this the cheaper option in the long run.
Christmas is coming up fast, and I’m happy to say that my shopping is all done for this season. I’ve already begun to receive some of the oh-so-very-kind gifts from my friends in St Louis, for which I’d like to take a moment to say “thank you.” I was really curious about Super Meat Boy, and Burnout has been an “almost-bought-it” of mine for some time now. Happy Holidays to all, and I hope we all get some of our most-wanted this year.
Some more good news: I will definitely be in town for the New Year’s party. I’m still not sure about where I’m staying (hint hint wink wink nudge nudge) but if no other options present themselves, I think a hotel might be in my budget this year.
I’m looking forward to seeing everyone in St Louis again. In the meantime, enjoy the Holidays!
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